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18 September 2010 @ 01:52 am
I don't get why this is such a big deal  
Okay, this... is something I've been thinking about for a while, and what set it off was a friend of mine that is planning to go from being a girl to being a boy.

This friend expressed concern to me about not being accepted and it kind of surprised me, because while I know, logically, that people are supposed to worry about things like that, it didn't really make sense to me. In my family, things like this, things involving sexuality, don't really matter.

I remember, several years ago, my MawMaw talking with my great grandmother about people who were born the wrong gender. My great grandmother, who I think was still just in her sixties at that point, said 'oh', when she understood, then asked "Well, are we sure she (meaning me) is a girl?"

My MawMaw, as far as I remember, looked at me and said 'Yeah, I think so', and that exchange didn't seem odd to me. It seemed perfectly logical to me that, upon finding out some people didn't like to the gender they were born, my great grandmother would want to know if I was happy with my gender. Admittedly, I think she would have missed having a little girl to dress up, but she would have wanted me to be happy. If I wanted to be a boy, that would be fine.

I remember, one time, when I went over to my Mom's and found her sitting with an aunt (who's not really an aunt, just my Mom's best friend that I used to call 'Dada' when I was small) in a kid's swimming pool. they invited me to stand in the water, and I did. At one point, my Mom wanted a cigarette and didn't have a towel, so she dried her hands on my shorts, and grabbed my butt because my family just lacks personal barriers like that.

I told her it tickled or something like that and my Aunt told her to leave me alone. My Mom said something about maybe if I didn't like her grabbing my butt, I wouldn't like anyone else grabbing it either, or something like that. My aunt made some sort of dismissal sound, I suppose, because my Mom said 'yeah, I know, someone cute enough comes along and she's not going to mind'.

My aunt then said, rather mischievously, "I bet if she's cute enough, she won't mind." My Mom replied "A girl?" Still grinning, my aunt said "I bet she falls for a girl first."

Later on, while still on the subject, my Mom said "I think it's going to be whoever she wants it to be, and no one else before that." My aunt stated again that her money was on a girl.

I know people that, apparently, have had trouble accepting their sexuality. I know people that question things like that and have problems with it, they worry about reactions. I have a friend that's asexual and her parents don't really seem to get that.

I don't understand any of that, because sexuality is just such a non-issue in my family. My Mom has said, on multiple occasions, that every parents wishes their child is gay. Multiple times, she's not kidding. My aunt's Mom used to get mad at her for wishing her daughter would be gay.

I remember more than once, having a conversation like this. Mom: do you have a boyfriend? Me: I don't want a boyfriend. Mom: Okay. Do you have a girlfriend?

No one has ever cared if I like a boy or girl. things like that aren't important. Every year, my brother pushes my female cousin and I beneath the mistletoe, and we return the favor to my brother and a male cousin. We have pictures of my Dad and Uncle under the mistletoe, I think. My Uncle has been known to serenade people with 'I am woman' and he and my Dad have done 'Man, I feel like a woman' as a duet.

We don't conform to gender rules. We don't care about sexuality. So to all of you that's ever worried about liking girl or liking guys, or wanting to be a girl or a guy, or those of you that have never wanted anyone and just want to be yourself, I just want you to know that as far as my family and I are concerned, it's all fine.

Really. We love and accept you just as you are, no strings attached.
Tags: ,
Feeling:: contemplativecontemplative
nit(ya): friends → it's a daily anthem.asweetdownfall on September 18th, 2010 06:17 pm (UTC)
I adore you. And I adore your family. You guys are fantastic. <33333